Teenink.com Response

4/22/2013

After reading at least two pieces of writing from the website teenink.com,
respond to the 7 following questions:
1.Summarize the two pieces you read.
2. What genre was each piece? (fiction, nonfiction etc.)
3. What made you read these pieces?
4. What did you like about each piece?
5. What did you not like about each piece?
6. If the writer was in front of you in a writing response group, what would you say for praise? What about question? And wish? (for each piece you read)
7. Which piece of your writing are you thinking of
submitting? Why? What work may need to be done to this piece before it is
ready for submission?

26 Comments

Morgan Lyons

4/23/2013 12:31:26 pm

The two pieces I read on teenink.com were really enjoyable. The first piece was a romance fiction story about a girl Spencer falling in love with Travis. Travis ends up dying. Before he dies, he tells her he will ask her to marry him one day. A man overhears and kills Travis because of it. The second piece I read was an adventure fiction story. It was about a girl taking her dog Butch on a walk, and then getting dragged into a sewer. She met these blob-like creatures and ate with them. Then, she left and went back home. I read these pictures because I picked first what I liked to read and then picked the top one. I liked both pieces because the writer had thought to far out of the box. I did not like the first one as much, because of all the errors. I would tell writer 1 that, it was good story line. My question would be if Spencer was a real character. My wish would be to correct all the grammatical errors, for there were many . Writer 2 did a great job also on the plot line. My question was Did she ever go back to the sewer drain, and my wish would be to make it longer. I think I will submit an old piece I wrote from 1st semester about friendship. It needs a few more sentences added on to make it flow more.

Cabbage Von Meow (Talitha)

4/23/2013 01:09:27 pm

1. a) The first piece I read was a review of Homestuck.
b) The second piece I read was a One Direction fan fiction, in which the ship was the author herself and Niall Horan.
2. a) Nonfiction
b) Fiction
3. a) I searched for anything that had to do with Homestuck, and that was the first thing that came up. So then I read it.
b) I wanted to read a fan fiction so I clicked the fan fiction tab, and that one was the #1 ranked from voters. So then I read it.
4. a) I enjoyed the review as it was very cerebral, thus making me feel smart for reading it. The way the author described it Homestuck was very unique, a way I've never heard it portrayed before and this pleased me.
b) The plot twist was sensation(ally awful) and the romance was so steamy. (And by steamy I mean vanilla. If you couldn't guess there wasn't much that was great about this piece.)
5. a) It really isn't something I should complain about, but everyone knows that the first act of Homestuck is boring. Sure, it's true, but at the same time I feel like it's almost unprofessional to carp about it since that's what everyone whines about. If you're going to grouse about it, find something else to grouse about. (Which the author did, so at the same time I don't really care.)
b) I hate to be a hater, but honestly, the whole thing was kind of yuck. It was vague, conventional, and boring. The author inserts herself into a situation in which she runs away into the rain, crying, but luckily, the glorious and bootylicious Niall Horan follows, reveals himself as the hotty Brit pop-star he is, and with the power of his sublime kissing skills, her problems disappear. Sorry for bashing, but just summarizing it makes it sound atrocious. I think it could've been written well, but the author is unclear with whom is speaking, follows the most cliche plot possible, and portrays the characters as nothing more than vacuous lovers. Nonetheless, it was the #1 fan fic of the day, so I'm going to assume the fan fiction coming in wasn't that great today.
6. a) I would praise them for getting through Homestuck, question what made them want to review it, and wish to know who their favorite character is.
b) I would praise them for not taking One Direction seriously and question why Neill is their favorite.
7. I think I will submit the paper I wrote on how many spiders there are in my house because no one else thinks it's funny but I do. I should probably make it transition paragraph to paragraph better.

Shelby Mayes

4/23/2013 02:26:31 pm

1. The first piece I read was about expectations the college boards hold for people, and what you should do if you want to be considered by your dream school. The second piece I read was a college essay describing how much the writer likes writing and how the specific college could her her reach her goals.
2. Both the pieces were nonfiction
3. I read these pieces because I was curious to see what a well written college essay looked like, and also because I wanted to get an idea of what getting to college is like. (As you can see I'm really excited about college)
4. What I liked about the first piece was the fact that it was funny. Some parts of it even made me chuckle aloud to myself and it also really got me thinking about what I can specifically do to get into the college of my choice. I liked the second piece because it really demonstrated the writers positive sides of writing. It was well thought out and planned and had excellent word choice. It never lost my attention.
5. There was nothing I didn't like about the first piece other then the fact that I would love to read deeper into what the writer had to say. The second piece was good but I felt the writer could have dove into expanding on their final paragraph. I feel like something cut them short.
6. For the first one- praise: wonderful sense of humor question: Where do you think you stand in terms of getting into your dream school and what have you done to get there? Where are you on your "Road To College" Wish: WRITE A BOOK :) 2nd piece- praise: good word choice and flow questions: why does Cornell's writing program stand out above the rest? wish: expand on how cornell could help you to become a better writer.
7. I am thinking about submitting my piece about the stresses of school just because I feel that it's relatable and I proofed it a lot. I need to take a few more corrections before submitting it for publication.

Marie Miller

4/24/2013 09:33:23 am

1. The first piece that I read explained how college football was more enjoyable to watch than the NFL professional league was because there were different players every year and there were more teams to watch. The second piece that I read was about this girl describing what it was like to be a teen in Pakistan.
2. Both of the pieces were nonfiction: the first one being under the category of sports and the second being under the category of travel and culture.
3. I cheer for football games and do not like watching them so I wanted to see other peoples views on watching the game. The other piece just caught my eye because the middle east is a very different place from here so I wanted to learn more about what teen life would be like there.
4. In the first piece, I liked how it was something different. Usually people would say they like to watch professional NFL football more than College maybe just because it could be a better game. But I just liked how it came into a different point of view. In the second piece, I like how the girl compared America and Pakistan day life. It was very interesting.
5. I really didn't find anything in these pieces that I disliked. I thought they were both very interesting and greatly written.
6. For the first piece: Praise- the writer for description and how he compared college and professional football. Question- Do you think that the College games are as exciting as the NFL games are? Wish- better flow. For the second piece: Praise- great topic, good points, and I loved how the girl tried to be funny in her writing. Question- What do teens do for fun in Pakistan on the weekends or days off? Wish- to include a little bit more information.
7. I think I am going to submit my piece of writing about my personal experience with my friends. Everyone loved this piece of writing when I shared it in my writing response groups so I thought it would be a good piece to share with everyone on the website. I just need to add some more description into my piece.

Savannah Welch

4/24/2013 10:57:18 am

1. The first piece I read is about a girl whose family causes her anxiety and pain, and how she finally leaves them for a husband who loves her. The second piece is about two men on a hunting trip who hunt children.

2. The first story was realistic fiction and the second story was thriller/mystery fiction.

3. I read these pieces because they were voted as today’s top stories for each genre and I liked the titles.

4. I enjoyed how descriptive the first piece was, and as for the second, I loved how the ending was so abrupt. It makes you rethink logic and morals.

5. In the first piece, I hated how many grammatical errors there were because it kind of killed the flow. In the second one, I loved it so much that there wasn’t anything I didn’t like.

6.a. For piece #1, I would say that the story idea is awesome because it is relatable and you can feel the emotion pouring out through the words. A question I would have would be “Did you ever actually tell your parents how you feel?” because that might have been the problem all along. As for a wish, I seriously wish the author could fix the grammatical errors because it confused me at some points and I had to reread several sentences to clarify.
b. For piece #2, my praise would be that I am extremely happy with the ending because the whole story is straight to the point and doesn’t have an overabundance of details, making the story edgier. My question would be “WHAT THE HECK WHY WAS A CHILD SHOT WHAT IS THIS?” because frankly, I hope that story is fiction. Finally, my wish would be to fix up the little grammatical errors.

7. I think I’m going to write a new piece of writing for submission because most of my stories are like mini novels, and if I submit a shorter story, people won’t be turned off by the length and will actually be interested in reading my story.

Joan Marie Ayala

4/24/2013 11:42:36 am

1- The first and second piece i read was about fan fiction, and it was about this couple which they where fighting, and then they guy told the girlfriend that he was Niall from 1 Direction. and the second one was about this guy who escape from jail and was married with a witch named Wilma, and the guy has an affair with Wilma's sister

2- Both of these pieces where about fan fiction

3- I read these pieces because they looked interesting and the cover picture from both of the stories where surprising and cool.

4- I liked how the first piece that i read was talking about love. And the ending of this piece was cute. Although, the second piece, i liked because it was funny whenever it was talking about the affair with the sister :)

5- I loved the first piece, but the second one, i didn't liked that much because the ending was SUPER choppy and it seems that it needs more description

6-For piece #1:
PRAISE: i enjoyed the piece and it has a good imagery
WISH: i wish it could be more longer, in the sense that maybe a better ending in the story
QUESTION: why does the author likes to put her real name in the story?
For piece #2:
PRAISE: it has a funny description when the man was having an affair with the sister
WISH: i wish the author could change the little grammar errors
QUESTION: WHY THE ENDING OF THE STORY WAS SUPER CHOPPY!!!?

7- I think the next piece i could write about will be from Fan Fiction mixed with novel at the same time. Because i already have an idea of the story i want to write about. Maybe i'll make a story a bit longer because i want it to be descriptive and organized. And i want to submit it because i want other people to read my story :)

Carolyn Gauvin

4/24/2013 01:33:42 pm

1. The first non-fiction article I read is called, "Who are you?". It was basically talking about finding someone in your life who relates to you perfectly and you can be 100% comfortable around all the time and they never ever let you down. You love this person dearly and they make everything in your life different; this article explained it could be your best friend to someone like your soul mate. The second non-fiction article i read is called, "Home Alone". A girl was home along and the home phone started ringing and a few times in a row, she answered by no one ever replied. As she talked to her friend on the phone she noticed how a strange car would pull up in her drive way and then back out and pull up and back out over and over again. Soon, her friend came and the car left. Ahhh!
2. Both of the articles were non-fiction.
3. I chose "Who are you" because it seemed interesting and i wanted to figure out what the author meant. I wanted to read the second one called "Home Alone" because i love scary movies and stories.
4. What i liked about the first piece is that it made me think about who fulfils this description and what type of person id love to be with all the time. what i liked about the second peice was that it was suspensful and kept my full attention the whole time. it made me notice every detail in the story and want to keep reading.
5. For the first piece, i didnt really like how specific everything was said. As if this was the way for every single person and whom they love. For the second piece, i didnt really like how choppy the sentences were. for a topic that exciting, i think they should have added some more detailed sentences and emotions to help you picture the scene better.
6. For the first writing, i would say for praise that they really incorperated a lot of emotion and feelings. for question, i would ask what made them want to write this. and for wish, i dont think i would have one. For the second article, i would praise them with a great topic and good details to help me keep attention on the writing. for question, i would ask them why they didnt call their parents instead of their friend, and why they didnt want to call the police. and for wish, i would put that they should add more descriptive language .
7. I am thinking about submitting my writing, Dive Deeper, because i worked really hard on using a lot of details and "showing" rather than "telling. I'll just need to fix gramatical errors and put more details about the cold water!

Allie Schmid

4/24/2013 03:03:19 pm

1. The first thing I read was called "The Twilight Saga in Two Minutes". It was exactly what the title says it was- it summarized the entire Twilight series. It was written with short, "overly-dramatic" sentences. The second piece I read was a poem titled "Wallflower". It basically talked about how there is so much more to wallflowers than people first see.

2. The Twilight one was a fan fiction and the Wallflower one was a free verse poem.

3. The fan fiction one just caught my eye as I was scanning through pieces and I just thought, oh that should be interesting. So I clicked on it. The same thing happened with the poem, I was just looking through the poetry and it was one that had been printed in the magazine, so I just read it.

4. For the first piece- I thought it was absolutely genius and I couldn't stop laughing while I read it. The funniest part was that it was so true; the author perfectly described everyone! The Wallflower one- It wasn't the best poetry that I've read, but I thought it was really good. It was more serious than the other one, definitely, but I really enjoyed it. The poem was very insightful.

5. I really liked them both, so I couldn’t find anything wrong with either of them.

6. First piece- Praise: I loved it so much because it was so true and it was so funny. Question: Why did you just sit down and write this play? Wish: I don't think I have one...
Second piece: It was very insightful and well written. Question: Do you feel like a wallflower yourself? Wish: Maybe don't ramble on- it sort of felt like at one point that it was just an extremely long run on sentence.

7. I honestly don't know which piece I want to submit. Maybe I'll write one that I really like and submit it. Maybe I'll just go through all of my writing and find one that I really like. I'm not sure...

Minnie Chappell

4/25/2013 09:39:23 am

1. The first piece I read was called Perfect, it’s about a girl who wakes up every morning and she puts on makeup and a big smile on her face, she is voted class president, and most popular but really she has cancer. She told her mom that she knows she is dying and that once she graduates she is going to be gone, but until then she has to make sure she looks perfect so no one knows. The second piece I read was called P.S. Don’t leave me, it’s about a girl who goes to counseling with a bunch of people and they right journals a lot, but she doesn’t share them because its personal. Her mom is dating this guy that sexually harasses the girl it’s really sad.
2. The first piece was Realistic Fiction, and the second was realistic fiction as well.
3. I read these pieces because I noticed that the first one Perfect was the talk of the day on the front page, and the title made me really want to read it. I read the other one because it had a lot of comments.
4. In perfect I really liked the story line, I thought it was kind of sad but I like the girls attitude towards her problem. The character was nice and I also really like the first paragraph. In the second piece I liked the poems the girl wrote I thought they had a lot of emotion in them.
5. The piece Perfect I thought was perfect the way it is, I could imagine everything and the flow was really good. I thought the second piece was okay, I didn’t understand it that much and I didn’t like the way the girl wrote it was kind of annoying.
6. My praise for the first write would be very good imagery and use of words, question would be how did you think of this, and wish would be to make it longer I want to know what happens! My praise for the second writer is very good words, question would be what was the conflict? My wish would be maybe write in a different style because it’s a little weird.
7. I think I might publish my writing about the beach, or I might write a whole new story. If I were to submit the beach one I think I have to change it a little bit up so the flow isn’t so bad. If I were to write a whole new one I want to make sure its really descriptive so my readers can feel like they are there and are seeing it in there head. I also want to make sure the punctuation is good, that’s always really important.

Gaelen Martin

4/25/2013 11:24:24 am

The first piece that read was entitled “Destroying the Planet”. It was basically stating that we are the ones killing our planet but there are many ways to prevent it. These ways were things like getting a hybrid car, not using plastic or paper bags, disposing chemicals in a safe place, and recycling. The second piece I read was entitled “Animal Cruelty Must Stop”. This piece talked about how animal abuse should be stopped right away, and needs a serious punishment. Not only because it is wrong entirely, but also because violence against animals could lead to violence towards humans as well. Several states don’t even have laws against animal abuse or neglect. Both pieces I read were nonfiction under the “environmental” category. I chose these pieces because I find environmental issues to be incredibly interesting. More people need to be aware of issues having to do with things such as global warming and other aspects involving our environment and animals around us. I like that each piece was honest. They didn’t spend time explaining too much, and just gave the facts for each issue. I also loved how both pieces gave you examples of ways to help, so everyone that reads it will be informed on how to get involved. I did not like how short the “Destroying the Planet” article was. It was informative if you don’t know much about helping the environment, but must people know things as simple as “recycling”. If there was more added onto the piece, like research or statistics, it would have been more attention grabbing. There isn’t much negative to say about the animal abuse piece, other then it could have focused in more on one topic. It was kind of odd reading it then seeing references to different events, then just going back to the beginning again. The transitions could have been a bit smoother. For the “Destroying the Planet” piece I would praise them for an appealing hook. My question would be why did they choose this specific topic, and my wish would be to add on more information and statistics. For the “Animal Cruelty Must Stop” piece I would definitely praise them for a well researched piece, and the connections back to society. My question would be where they found their information, and my wish would to make the piece sound a bit smoother from topic to topic. I haven’t written the piece I want to submit yet, but I know now what I want it to be about. I’ve heard an essay by Bindi Irwin about overpopulation on YouTube and it was really remarkable. I plan on writing a piece about overpopulation, because I also think it is very important. I want to submit it because I see the wide variety of pieces under the “environment” category on Teenink, but I don’t any pieces dealing with overpopulation. I will most likely bring this piece into my next writing response group to see how I should words things, and if I need any big changes.

Robert Garner

4/25/2013 12:24:39 pm

1. The first piece I read was "The Healer" . It is about a young man named Ekkehart who meets another young girl named Hannelore. This piece is extremely descriptive and gives you a perfect image of the cold, dark setting. The second piece I read was "The Cave". It is about a strange, oppressed world where people are brainwashed and they are controlled. In a small cave live the only free people in the world who think of their own free will.
2. "The Healer" was a fictional short story. "The Cave" was also a fictional short story.
3. I read "The Healer" because the name seemed very alluring, and the cover photo also drew me in. I read "The Cave" because it was highly rated and the name was interesting.
4. The things I liked about "The Healer" were that it was very descriptive and the author used higher-level vocabulary. I also liked how the author described other characters and their emotions. The things I liked about "The Cave" were that the author talked about the world in a strange, unique way that was very hooking and interesting.
5. What I didn't like about "The Healer" was that it jumped around quickly at a couple portions in the story and this made it confusing on how to understand what was currently going on. What I didn't like about "The Cave" was that there wasn't too much action or plot going on, mostly just the author describing the depressing world.
6. For "The Healer", I would praise the author for their descriptive abilities and the intense setting. I would ask them how they came up with such strange names for the main characters, like Ekkehart and Hannelore. I would wish that they didn't jump around so much in the beginning of the story. For "The Cave", I would praise the author on their descriptive abilities and their unique way of writing. I would ask the author how they came up with such a strange way of describing the world and setting in the story. Finally for the wish, I would wish that they included more in the plot and made the story a little longer.
7. The writing piece I will probably submit to Teenink will be a short story I have been working on lately and using for writing response groups. This story is called "The Room" and it is about a bullied teen's mysterious discovery. I will probably submit because I think it is a quality piece of fiction writing that I have spent a lot of time on. I may also have edit the piece grammatically, and make the story a little longer.

Kendall Emerson

4/25/2013 01:14:38 pm

1. Well, the first piece I read was the life of a tea cup, and quite literally was the perspective of life through the eyes of a tea cup, as just mentioned. The second piece was a story about a therapist with what seemed to be a paranoia patient who mysteriously disappears while the therapist goes out of the office to take a phone call.
2. The two pieces were of course fiction, and I dare to classify the second piece as thriller and the first piece as I would assume, would be fantasy.
3. I read both these pieces because I liked the idea that both of them were alternative pieces that differed from what many other teens may write. Of course, since when do people write about the life of a teacup? I find that to be ingenious, and humorous.
4. I liked the creativity and imagination put into each piece.
5. I did not like how short they were, nor did I like how there was not a really definitive plot line or objective.
6. For the teacup piece, I would suggest adding more of a definite purpose to the story, as well as adding more character to the teacup. For the Therapist piece, I would add more of a plot as well, and make it longer. It seemed very short to me.
7. I’m thinking of submitting “God Save The Queen.” I have already re-edited it twice, so I think I can just go ahead and send it in. I hope people will find it interesting and kindly give me feedback.

Tom Holman

4/25/2013 01:17:01 pm

1 The first piece I read was called "Daddy's Womb". This poem was a perspective piece in which the author's dad was very strict. The piece used the land and the sea as two opposites. The father would let the author go out to the water and swim. The author tried to jump into the sea, and it turns out that the father had chained the child down to the land. This is a metaphor of a dad chaining his child down and not letting the child try new things.
The second piece is called “Beauty is the Beast”. This poem explains how this beautiful girl seems attractive on the inside is actually wicked on the inside.
2 Daddy’s Womb was a poem and so was the second piece.
3 Daddy’s Womb sounded very new and not like I have ever read so I decided to read this poem. Beauty is the Beast was voted top poem so I decided to give it a try.
4 Daddy’s Womb was interesting to me because it used rhyming techniques and still made a lot of sense. I think that this author connected to me because sometimes I feel as though I am restricted from certain things. I also connected to the second piece because I feel like a lot of people are very nice and attractive but have an evil deep down.
5 I didn't like the fact that it didn't connect back to the real world in Daddy’s Womb. In Beauty is the Beast it mentions just one girl but I feel like any person no matter age or gender could be like this.
6 For Daddy’s Womb, I would tell the author that this piece is amazing. I really liked the way he used the land and the sea to describe how he is restricted, or chained. In Beauty is the Beast, I would tell the author that I agree with his poem completely. I really liked this poem and it relates to a lot of things in my life.
7 A piece I believe I am submitting is about clichés. I want to submit this because it is an original and because I believe it would attract a lot of readers. I need to work on key sentence structure and a title.

Hannah Monroe

4/25/2013 02:21:40 pm

The first article I read was very strange. I did not particularly like it because of that. The article My Dear Lucy by eclipsedhawk was about a girl named Lucy. She was kidnapped by a man named Aiden who abused, but claimed to love her. Due to the fact that she had been trapped with him for so long she had developed multiple personalities. One part of her wants to escape, while another is in love with Aiden. Eventually her hateful self takes over and she stabs her captor to death. She is then reunited with her parents, who she barely remembers, and leads a normal life. This article was realistic fiction. I read this piece because I typically tend to like realistic fiction and I thought the title was cute. I guess I liked how Lucy's emotions were described. I didn't really enjoy the piece because I found it chilling and for the most part disturbing. If the writer was in my WRG my praise would be that the story was very descriptive. My question would be, what in the world was your inspiration. My wish would be that it flowed together a little better and the characters were introduced more clearly. The second article I read was called Perfect by Kelsey H. It is about an eighteen year old girl who is seen as perfect by her friends and the rest of the school. However, she hides the fact of her imperfections created by her cancer by taking drastic measures to cover them up. The article never says what type of cancer she has, it only says that she is dying. She covers the fact that her hair is dying and falling out, she has bruises all over her body, and she cannot eat anything without throwing it up in the middle of the night. It was also realistic fiction. I read this piece because it came up first under the realistic fiction category. I liked that this piece was very in detailed into the girl's emotions and why she wanted to appear perfect to everyone. There wasn't really anything that I didn't like in this piece. If this writer was in my WRG my praise would be that she expressed her character's feelings and thoughts pretty well. My question would be what was her inspiration. My wish would be that I wish the article was longer. As of this moment I am thinking about submitting my 9-11 poem to teen ink. I just think that as far as my writing goes it is a decent piece that could be accepted. I think that some work that could be done on my poem is clarifying certain points within the writing.

Daly Brister

4/25/2013 02:31:18 pm

1.) The first story i read is called "death has its heart in the right place" about a boy who has faced death multiple times, evading it at every encounter. An assasin tries to kill him and shoots him in the chest. When the assasin's back is turned, the boy shoots him back. He then reveals to the dying assasin that he is a dextrocardiact (meaning his heart is on the right side of the chest) so the bullet would not kill him. The second story is called "opulence". It begins with a girl describing herself stalking this boy, it later reveals that she is a witch who is sent from some wizardly government to find other wizards and bring them to train into proffessional wizards. The boy she is stalking is of course a wizard who becomes her apprentice.

2.)These were both in the action-adventure section.

3.)I chose these because i thoroughly enjoy action adventure and they are both very highly rated. I was also very curious about the title "opulence" and wanted to know just what it was about.

4.)I really enjoyed that both pieces had twist endings and kept you guessing throughout the story. They both made alot of refferences to things that you don't discover untill later in the story, this compelled me to continue reading them.

5.)In the first story, i didn't like how the imagery seemed a little generic and excessive. In the second, i wish there had been an explanation other than witches, i was a little disappointed to learn that that's what the girl was talking about the whole time.

6.) if the writer of "death..." was in front of me, i would praise her element of surprise, wish for better clarity in her grammar and ask why people were always trying to kill the boy in the story. If the writer of "opulence" was in front of me, i would praise her use of imagery and her hook, wish that she thought of something better than witches for the ending and ask how the girl in the story became an orphan.

7.) i'm considering submitting a story called "man in the woods" because it is the piece that i'm the most proud of. i worked really hard on it and it's the best ending i've ever written.I need to find a way to make the story less repeditive and take out unnesessary details.

Max Vineyard

4/25/2013 02:31:52 pm

1. The first piece I read about was about questioning life itself and digging deeper behind the true meaning of a human being. The second piece I read was about dragon riders and how they played a significant role in humanity.
2. Both were science fiction
3. In both of these pieces I felt as if it were a different person reading the story to me and not to myself. I felt like I was questioning humanity and wanting to be a dragon rider.
3/4. There was nothing I didn't necessarily "like" in the first story, but the second story I have a different answer. I felt like the second story was a little hard to follow. I may have to re read it. Also it was a little confusing trying to match the dragon's names and the rider's names.
4. I read these pieces knowing that I have always had a love for science fiction. I like the action packed, thrilling stories that make you think and question. Both of these stories did that for me and that is why I love science fiction so much.
6. For story one my praise would be. I thought you had a very interesting story and made me want you to expand even more. Question: why did you decide to write this
Wish: I wish you continue writing if that is what you like to do
story two. Praise: I really liked you're story and how you tied it to the real world
Question: What motivated you to write this
Wish: I wish you had made the names a little easier to understand
7. I am thinking about submitting a writing a wrote a while ago about Football. The reason I would like to submit this story is because I felt like I really opened up and gave the reader some insight to my life. I have received very nice comments from my group on this specific piece of writing and this has encouraged me enough to want to submit that one.

Emma Kriechbaumer

4/25/2013 02:39:28 pm

1. The first piece i read was written by a 17 year old girl contemplating the decisions she had made throughout recently in her high school years. The second piece i read was about a girl who had a troubling experience staying home alone.
2. These pieces were both Non fiction in the "Personal Experience" category.
3. Both of these pieces had very interesting titles that drew me in. The first piece i read was also todays top voted personal experience piece.
4.In both these pieces i really enjoyed finding out a little bit about the writers personality. In the first piece written by the 17 year old girl i could tell she seemed shy and maybe someone who didnt really go out much. In the second post i read i could really tell the writer was definitely scared and put into a scary situation.
5. Same thing goes for both of these pieces.. I really didn't like how short they were. The writers had such good leads and beginning paragraphs but it seemed like it was just cut off at the end. I felt like they both could've written more and it would've just made the pieces even better.
6. For the first piece i would praise them on really thinking outside of the box and exploring something deeper and more personal, i would question them on why they really chose to write this piece and i would wish for them to go even more in depth and make it longer. For the second piece i would praise them on using such descriptive words to help paint a picture in my mind on what was going on, i would question them why they were home alone in the first place and if they ever found out who the person was that was in front of the house and i would wish for them to again make it longer and even more detailed.
7. I am pretty positive i am going to submit my piece about my morning walk. I have taken it to writing response group a couple times and i have really fixed it up enough to be confident about submitting it.

Blake Aull

4/25/2013 03:28:22 pm

1.The first piece I read was about a girl who wanted to go back in time and get Elvis Presley’s autograph for her aunt. The girl and her aunt were planning on going to Elvis’s house but her aunt’s life was cut short by cancer. The second poem I read is about a medic and the tragedies of war. The author describes how violent and depressing war is and goes into great detail about the agony of war.

2.Both of these pieces were Fiction.

3.The main thing that caught my eye about these poems was the style of writing and more specifically, the rhyme scheme. I also thought the titles of the poems were Familiar and were based on topics that I found interesting.

4.The first poem (about Elvis) was really cool to read considering the fact that I had just seen an Elvis documentary, which showed his house. This was interesting because it helped me visualize the house that was mentioned in the poem. The second poem (about the medic) intrigued me because I have seen all of Band of Brothers and The Pacific, which are both war movies. This also helped me visualize what the author is writing about.

5.The only thing I did not like about the first poem was that the author had too many details about her aunt. The only thing I did not like about the second poem was the author didn’t have enough details about the setting. This made it hard to understand what was going on in the poem.

6.a. My praise is that they had excellent word choice and made the poem very familiar to the reader. They also had good flow. What was your inspiration for this piece? My wish is that they had more details on her reason for choosing Elvis.

b. My praise is that they had great details and made it easy to visualize what was happening in the poem. Why did you choose to write about world war one? My wish is that they had more details about the setting.

7. I am thinking of submitting a piece of writing that I did for a WRG a few weeks ago. I am choosing this writing because it is the most refined and I never got a chance to finish it and this would be a good opportunity. I need to add a few more sentences to finalize the plot and wrap up the loose ends of the story.

Oliver Palmieri

4/26/2013 10:13:46 am

1.The first article i read was what a single teenager thought of the show Dexter as a whole since season one through season six. The second article, was also another review for a different show know as Supernatural, which is my favorite show.

2. Both of the pieces were reviews of popular television shows, that I happen to watch as well.

3. The second i saw the review category I instantly knew that it was the section that i would read. I really enjoy reading reviews, because they show different views on certain things on which I have my own very strong opinions on. I also then searched for my two favorite shows, which happened to both be there and with out another thought, i began to read them both.

4. I thought both pieces we very well thought out, organized, and edited. I was happy to find that I agreed with their opinions on these shows, which where both a positive look on each show. I may be partially biased though, due to the fact that these are great shows.

5. I enjoyed both pieces very much, but with that said the article on Supernatural was very narrowed down to views on the fourth season which i found distracting. The article on Dexter was much more vague then the other, which I highly agreed with.

6.A. If the writer of the Supernatural article was in my response group, I would start by saying that my praise was his deep look on what could possibly happen next in this unpredictable show. My question would be how long has he been personally watching the show. My wish is that he would be less narrow on things that we had learned for season three and four.

B. My praise to the writer of the Dexter review would be how he took his own personal view on why we connected with the killer so easily. My question would be that how did he decide to write about Dexter and my wish would be that he showed more of the struggles that Dexter keeps facing just to survive.

7. The piece of writing i would like to summit for Teenink would be my persuasive essay on being a Twin. I choose this because in a way its my own review on a topic that has been a very large part of my life. The work i might need to do on this piece will to probably enhance the flow of the entire piece.

Cameron Penny

4/26/2013 12:48:02 pm

1) One of the story that I read was called "Perfect". It was about a popular girl who was class president and is recovering from finding out that she has cancer. The second story I read was called "Good Day" and was about a girl who's dad was abusive and mean ever since her sister died but all of a sudden became nice one day. The daughter was caught off guard and didn't know if her dads personality was permanent.
2) Both of the pieces were nonfiction.
3) I was tempted to read these stories because both of their titles, even though they short, they are very intriguing.
4) I really enjoyed how suspenseful the stories were.
5) I didn't like how short they were. I especially wish that the story "Good Day".
6) If the writer of "Perfect" was in front of me I would praise them for using such great descriptive words. I wouldn't tell them to improve on anything except expanding the end. If the writer of "Good Day" was sitting in front of me I would tell them to add a lot more to the end. I would praise them for a great plot line. It is a great idea for a story, especially if it was longer.
7) I'm thinking of submitting one of the pieces that my WRG helped me edit. I'm really not sure which one I am going to submit, but if I were to submit my story about my trip to Seattle, I would need to make it a lot exciting. I would also need to add a better attention grabber.

Yvanna Bidart

4/26/2013 12:49:19 pm

1. The first piece I read is called "If Dance Was Any Easier." It is about how hard dance can sometimes be and the determination you have to have to excel. The author expresses how dance is her addiction and how she will never stop dancing even tough it has caused her much pain such as the time she broke her wrist.
The second piece is called "Images on a Camera," which is about a girl's admiration for taking pictures, developing them, and recreating her memories.
2. Both of the pieces were nonfiction and about hobbies.
3. What sparked my interest to read them is the fact that I like to know what other people's hobbies are and what they enjoy about them. The first piece I read interested me even more because I also love to dance, just like the girl who wrote the paper.
4. From the first piece, I liked how the author expressed her emotions, thoughts, and opinions about dance. From the second piece, I enjoyed reading how taking pictures can be for someone an emotional hobby.
5. The first piece was too negative. The author needed to not just talk about how dance is hard, but about why she loves to dance in the first place. The second piece was just too short and needed to show more emotions towards why taking pictures is fun for her.
6. If the author for the first piece was in front of me I would tell her that my praise is I loved the topic. I enjoyed getting to read what another person thinks about dancing. My question would be how did she dance with a broken wrist and my wish would be that she elaborated on how she broke her wrist while dancing.
If the author for the second piece was in front of me I'd tell her that my praise would be great conclusion. I loved how she finished her piece. I would ask her what is her favorite thing to take pictures of and my wish would be that she made it a lot longer.
7 . I am thinking of submitting my piece about the places where I have traveled and which one was my favorite. I want to submit it because I think it is well written after being revised a few times and it's also a fun piece. In order to make it better, it might need to be more descriptive.

Daniela Ruffo

4/26/2013 02:00:47 pm

The first piece I read is a poem about falling in love with a jerk and still wanting to be with the jerk because you love him so much. The second piece I read is another poem about not having the time to fall in love but still wanting to fall at the same time and when you push against love eventually you are left with nothing.
Both of the poems genres is romance.
I wanted to read these pieces because I'm always interested in hearing stories about troubled relationships and i always feel like a learn something from what the person is going though.
From the first piece i like how the writer wrote her emotion of love and hating the jerk at the same time. From the second piece I like how the writer stayed with the thought of that she does not have the time to fall in love and how in the end she changes the meaning of the words to turn against her.
From the first piece I did not like how she didn't express her emotions as much as i wanted her too and in the second piece and didnt really like how she explained herself.

Kate N

4/26/2013 02:25:31 pm

1. Summarize the two pieces you read.
- Jack is a risk taker, and a skilled one. He has an addiction to the gamble of life and death, the adrenaline rush that occurs because of it. Luckily for him, he isn't short of opportunities to experience this bliss.
- Everything seems pretty normal, except you (the reader) seem to have a borderline ocd obsession with time.
2. What genre was each piece? (fiction, nonfiction etc.)
- both pieces were fiction, in the Thriller category
3. What made you read these pieces?
- They were the top rated, so I decided why not take a chance.
4. What did you like about each piece?
- The description was absolutely gorgeous, and I liked the fact that we as an audience did not learn much else other than what was necessary, it allows for a lot of room to imagine how the situation got to this, why Jack liked the rush of gun fight, what he was fighting, etc ...
- It was an interesting concept, and the questions unanswered were cool to think about.
5. What did you not like about each piece?
- the main character was somewhat cliched and the plot was a bit
- This piece moved very quickly, and I feel could have been much better at a longer length, with maybe just a tad bit more description
6. If the writer was in front of you in a writing response group, what would you say for praise? What about question? And wish? (for each piece you read)
- Praise: The description, concept, and mysteriousness of the piece were wonderful
Question: Who was Jack fighting?
Wish: I wish that Jack's background was a little more apparent.
- Praise: I really loved the simplicity and the originality of the concept
Question: Who was knocking at the end?
Wish: I wish the piece was longer, so that the story didn't go so fast, and we learned more about 'our' life

7. Which piece of your writing are you thinking of
submitting? Why? What work may need to be done to this piece before it is
ready for submission?
- I am thinking of submitting my "Red" short story, because I love it, I've revised it and brought it in so many times it's pretty well edited, and my WRG groups seem to like the piece as well. I think that I might not have any work left to do for this piece, other than writing a sequel (a 'wish' I've received a couple times)

Jarret Osmialowski

4/26/2013 04:31:37 pm

1. My favorite parts about the stories were the details and use of imagery. It was like watching a movie and it was actually pretty cool seeing someone my age as such a good writer.
2. Both were fiction.
3. I read these pieces because of the interesting titles.
4.My favorite parts about the stories were the details and use of imagery. It was like watching a movie and it was actually pretty cool seeing someone my age as such a good writer.
5. There was nothing that I didn't like about the pieces.
6. For both I would say praise is good details and showing, not telling. Question, where did you get the idea? Wish, longer and each part spent more time on.
7. I would choose my writing on Space (with a few modifications). I like this writing and find it the most interesting of my works.

Jason Leary

4/26/2013 04:59:32 pm

1 a) Home Alone- This story is about a girl home alone that keeps getting mysterious phone calls and an unknown visitor in the driveway.
b) The New Girl- It is an experience about a girl's first day at a new school.
2 a) Home Alone is nonfiction personal experience.
b) The New Girl is nonfiction.
3 a) I was eager to read a personal experience and the title seemed intriguing.
b) I chose this because I was interested to find out to see what the story was about.
4 a) I enjoyed the constant suspense that built up in the story.
b) I enjoyed how I could relate to the experience since I was the new kid several times.
5 a) I didn't like how there was no resolution, it just cut off leaving you hanging which is good yet aggravating.
b) I didn't like how it was too short, not descriptive, and bland.
6 a) P-Very suspenseful throughout the story and I enjoyed it thoroughly ?-How old were you when this happened? W-No wish
b) P-Found it a bit humorous ?-Why did you not give the girl who walked up to you a chance? W-go into detail more, expand the story, use some good adjectives to "spice" up the story,
7) I am probably going to submit my recent WRG Tick-Tock because it's very meaningful and I'd like to see what people think of it and if I can receive some constructive criticism.

Imani Ware

4/27/2013 04:25:57 am

1.a) The first piece I read was about a boy’s, the author’s, experience when he got really angry.
b) The second piece was about a girl’s, the author’s, love of dog poo on her front lawn.
2.The first was free verse poetry and the second was a sonnet.
3.a) The title of the first piece was interesting, “Crimson.”
b) The sonnet’s title was also interesting, “My love for you” because I thought it was going to be similar to Shakespeare’s sonnets about love and I thought it would be a really good sonnet about love.
4.a) I liked the use of sensory in the piece. The author described the experience very well and I could even imagine every feeling he describes.
b) I liked how throughout the sonnet I thought the author was writing about a person or living thing that she loves so much, but the last line shocked me. The whole poem was about her love for dog poo. It was very original and unique.
5.There was nothing I did not like about either piece.
6.a) My praise would be the description and sensory aspects used in the poem. My question would be why did you write about this? My wish would be to incorporate the reason for writing this poem into the piece so the reader could connect even more with the piece.
b) My praise would be the humor and the unexpected twist at the end was very funny. The question would be the same as before, why did you write about this? I have no wish.
7. I am thinking of submitting my sonnet that we did in class because it expresses love in high school and in school crushes. I need to try and make every line 10 syllables and touch up on the rhyming in the sonnet.

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